Today for instance, on the way home from work, driving down 4th street, some old dude started crossing the street on my green... MY green...and i thought long and hard about quickly rolling my hands, right over left, across the steering wheel.. and veering straight towards his piece of sh*t legs... to punish the a-hole for meandering aimlessly onto my personal causeway. I imagined his denim hat falling harshly to the cement and then the car behind me tattooing it with its front tire... just to squash any other pedestrian's fading hopes of crossing the same street again...
sometimes i want to dangle my cats from the 2nd floor by their hind legs just for the hell of it. just to watch them squirm. and then laugh about it.
sometimes i envision pummeling the crap out of the guy in the cafeteria at work when i show up at 928am and he says the 'grill is closed' when that shit closes at 930am..B*tch i got two minutes!! Dont steal my two minutes! I slam his head into the floor and pour mayonnaise all over his eyebrows. And then proceed to make my egg and cheese sandwich on a slightly toasted crossiant..
i even imagine making out with the 43 yr old admin in the elevator every once in a while... thing is, im pretty sure that could happen. tomorrow maybe? hmm...
crazy thoughts keep us sane.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment