A couple of lessons for the weary...

During the daily grind... a few thoughts to help you strut your stuff at the office..

1) Act as If... Know the role? Play the part.

2) Motion creates Emotion... Walk around. Use the headset. Shake hands and kiss babies. Move.

3) Repeat the phrase, "I'm the f**kin man/woman," at least 4 times between 8am and 6pm... And don't forget it after.

I wish life was a TV drama on ABC...

60 minutes of emotion. Laughter and envy... triumph and sadness...confusion and understanding...

With a few commercials in between.

Moments of realization within minutes of action... Black panties pinned to break room bulletin boards. Fits of jealousy driving episodes of passion... Awkward cups of coffee with condescending mothers. Bouts of helplessness inside acts of heroism... A tree through your heart...

A roller-coaster of feelings that dips below your gut and loops around your spirit. With a view so clear at the top that a lesson is learned while you're whizzing down.

And somewhere in between, you feel invinceable..like - during those 60 minutes from 9pm to 10pm Eastern Time - you can do anything... Be anyone... Go anywhere...

Get the girl and lose the girl, win the fight and fail the challenge... all in the same day...all in the same sitting... so that when you're done with the Ride... you know that, no matter where youve ended up, you truly did live....

at least for an hour.

Sometimes I think crazy thoughts...

Today for instance, on the way home from work, driving down 4th street, some old dude started crossing the street on my green... MY green...and i thought long and hard about quickly rolling my hands, right over left, across the steering wheel.. and veering straight towards his piece of sh*t legs... to punish the a-hole for meandering aimlessly onto my personal causeway. I imagined his denim hat falling harshly to the cement and then the car behind me tattooing it with its front tire... just to squash any other pedestrian's fading hopes of crossing the same street again...

sometimes i want to dangle my cats from the 2nd floor by their hind legs just for the hell of it. just to watch them squirm. and then laugh about it.

sometimes i envision pummeling the crap out of the guy in the cafeteria at work when i show up at 928am and he says the 'grill is closed' when that shit closes at 930am..B*tch i got two minutes!! Dont steal my two minutes! I slam his head into the floor and pour mayonnaise all over his eyebrows. And then proceed to make my egg and cheese sandwich on a slightly toasted crossiant..

i even imagine making out with the 43 yr old admin in the elevator every once in a while... thing is, im pretty sure that could happen. tomorrow maybe? hmm...


crazy thoughts keep us sane.

30...

Put things back where they do not belong.
Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation.
Scrawl your signature on important documents.
Chew ice cubes.
Dance in the bathroom at work.
Trim your nose hairs.
Push the panic button every other day.
Take the screens off your windows.
Remind her that she’s pretty.
Wear a suit to work on Friday.
Change your mind.
Expectorate on the sidewalk.
Take cheap shots.
Take forever to find your word in Scrabble.
Flex your pecs in public.
High-five your boss.
Sit in the exit row without reading the safety card.
Hand out your business cards at weddings.
Raise your voice.
Forget the punch line but don't let that stop you from telling jokes.
Always have an ulterior motive.
Remember that everything was better years ago.
Let your blind date know he/she isn't up to what you were told.
Blame the victim.
Put your initials in wet concrete.
Open the door without looking through the peep hole.
Wear large hats in the movie theater.
Order extra cheese.
Make the same mistake twice.
Drive West.

Hot Streak...

Ridin a heat wave... bulgarian, russian, indian, persian, and cincinnatian... new yorkers... all wrapped up in a steamy cool cigar... after the award show, the real prizes were handed out...

yours truly? Oscar winner....

when it's hot.... let it ride........

Got my Vans on but they look like Sneakers...

Yes. That is a song. And yes... I like it.


Shout-out to 'Shannon's Streetwaves' and my suede, olive and black pair circa 1992.

Lyric of the Week...

Champ:
Step one you say we need to talk,
He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk.
He smiles politely back at you.
You stare politely right on through...
- How to Save a Life, The Fray


Runner-up:
I'm bringin' sexy back...
- Sexy back, JT

Gremlin...

Inside, we all have a monster. A couple actually... The dragon that breathes fire when someone steals our parking spot or when the boss opts to give us the 5% raise instead of the 10%... The fiend that endulges in sinful pleasures behind closed doors and amongst treetops...Then there's the Gremlin...

The Gremlin lives in the pit of the stomach, a couple feet south of the heart, a few knots north of the loins, on the starboard side of the soul... He's born from the hasty conception of Want and Loss; the consumation of Ego and Rejection... The Gremlin lives the roughest, claws the most, and is the hardest to kill... And the Gremlin is one hungry bastard.

The Gremlin feeds on thought...

Stop to start...

I've thought for 45 minutes about the 45 things I need to do at work and the 45 reasons why I should do them now instead of thinking of 45 other things to do to waste time....

Wasting time wins.


Sometimes, you have to stop thinking to start doing...once I realize that...embrace it...then maybe I'll be down to 44.

Speaking of love...

It's getting colder outside... and like I've always said...: Summer is for LUST. Winter is for LOVE.

Summer is nice weather, g-strings, pool parties, BBQ's, thongs, interns, new hires, beachfront vacations, and bikinis.

Winter is about cold nights, rainy days, and fog in between. It's about the Christmas/Hannukah/Ramadan/Kwanza/Holiday "spirit"... It's about long lines, car pools, and lost gift receipts... It's about needing someone to cuddle up with because your electric bill was $198.46 in December and you damn sure ain't gonna pay that much for heat in January.

Winter is nice jackets.

For now, I'm going to enjoy the Fall...

Mountains make you fall in love...

Something about the high peaks and vast ranges ignite the purest of sentiments…jagged edges of artistic affection on an otherwise sea-level canvas. I'm not sure why really... and I don’t think it's a coincidence that ascension up said mountain causes loss 0f breath, dizzy spells, and bouts of nausea... But after you're done throwing-up, it's nice to know that you still have that 5th grade 'cant-wait-to-talk'-kinda love in you...

Until you're on the way down that is... then it's back to www.hotchicks.com and the slightly elderly yet surprisingly attractive divorcee at the bar on Main street.

Between the Gray...

Far from the boundaries of 'black' and 'white' lies a land of endless possibilities and countless opportunities. Where emotion is King and sensation guards the Castle... The conversation begins and ends here... and the Path cuts through the gray area....

but the magic happens between the gray.


first flight.